Corinthians 17- 0 Attlee 26/11/09 Victory

Football has seen it’s whitewashes, Tottenham’s 9-1 drubbing of Wigan just the other week,  in 1885 Arbroath beat Bon Accord in a Scottish Cup match 36-0,  Preston North End beat Hyde United 26-0 in an FA cup match once, presumably Bon Accord and Hyde United fielded a team of Sheep that had just over eaten and acquired indigestion. Regardless, it is not uncommon for slaughter to ensue on the football pitch (often literally in South America), that though does not take away from the prestige of the execution of such glorious victories which live long in the minds of player, pundit and fan alike inspiring unfettered joy and a bench mark for future generations of the club to aspire to.

This week’s 17-0 demolition of the Attlee youth stands tall as the second biggest victory in Corinthian history (previously 21-0) and certainly the biggest since the club migrated home to London, (perhaps Everton would like to offer a consultation fee to manager Lewis on how to successful migrate a club? But then would his middle class ear be able to decipher the accents of the Scot and his Merseyside cronies?)

But where in this overwhelming display lie the heroes and villains? Where does the glory really lie?

From the off Lewis was clear, ‘early goals will finish this team off and result in an easy match’. This was in stark contrast to Finnegan’s game plan, ‘Sit tight and wear them out, then finish them off as the game progresses’, and dis-similar to Dave Brown’s which was displayed as a sort of silent performing art as the game went on, but presumably translates as, ‘no matter what the score line, show no mercy and crush these young teenagers into the side boards until they are half dead’.

Cenamor leapt into action from kick off, scoring with 4 seconds and the game was as good as over. Should you attribute this to his Endeavour or the managerial nouce that instructed it? The debate will rage as long and hard as the ‘would you rather have Pele or Maradona in your team’ argument. Incidentally the answer to that is; Maradona was a more effective game changing individual talent, but he was also a cunt, but a cunt with a lot coke to share round so it depends whether or not you could stand him, and whether you have a cocaine additction. Presumably a modern day Maradona in a Premier league team would play for Chelsea and spend his evenings in Bouji’s raping anything that came near him and repeatedly slapping bouncers with his ‘hand of God’, but the ‘hand of God’ would be a euphamism for his left hand covered in shit after fisting one of his sexual victims.

But enough of that….

There were so many goals that I lost count of who scored what.

Cenamor contributed at least 8

I definitely saw Brown rifling a fair few past the keeper, at one point about 3 in 30 seconds…

Finnegan was all over the field crushing the unfortunate oppositions attacking promise and putting them right on to the back foot again….

Gomez in goal though was keeping a vocal abacus of the number of assists that he was collecting.

5, count them 5 assists flew from his distributing glove onto the foot of the striker and into the back of the net like heat seeking missiles in an oil crisis. His very own ‘hand of God’, shit free?

Ne’re the less,

Another glorious victory and one free of the disgraceful show of conceit apparent in the clubs record 21-0 victory when the team egomaniac peppered the opposition goal for 38 minutes failing to take advantage of the goal feast, then scored in the last minute prompting him to cartwheel and scream ‘YYYEESSSS’ in the opposition faces, goal number 21, you’d think he was playing some sort of Football version of Blackjack.

Maybe he was.

Tosser.

Well done again all.

Corinthians 9 -1 JTP Victory

As history exhibits, football dynasties seldom last forever.

Incisive's shock 5-3 defeat to JTP two weeks previously could have sent the club into freefall, similar to the fates of Nottingham Forest, Leeds and more recently Liverpool.



Teams can be the best of their generation, however, events can quickly transpire to turn giants to become football has-been's.



In short, Incisive knew they had to win at all costs in the return fixture against JTP.



Both sides went into the game below strength. JTP had drawn the short straw having had the displeasure of a double-header on the same night.
Incisive were missing their player-manager, and architect of their "invincible" title winning season, Alex Lewis, who could only watch from the sideline in a rather fetching parka jacket. Some people will do anything for fashion.



Incisive, rarely moving out of first gear, were able to control the game with a superior level of passing, organisation and vision. JTP will be wishing for such ability this Christmas.



Whilst Incisive lacked much of their vintage qualities, they were able to conjure an array of chances and more importantly goals.



Brown was able to net four times on an evening he could have scored 7 or 8. However, his ability to trap the ball was clearly missing most of the time.



Cenamor offered much dynamism and was rewarded for his efforts with two well-taken goals.



Chris Finnegan, despite only getting on the score sheet once showed movement off the ball that allegedly created the goals for Cenamor and Co. CCTV from the Atlee Centre is being retrieved as evidence for this claim. As to are witness statements for Tjaardstra alleged abuse of innocent (black) bystanders after the game. If found guilty of any wrongdoing both players could be required to line up as tin soldiers at the next match for their team to fire footballs at.



Tjaardstra, who also allegedly slapped a cleaner at the weekend in a clubs toilet, and now looks set to marry Leona Lewis to appease London's black community, also managed to net two goals.



As ever Chad Gomez was dependable pulling off a number of top-class saves. Quite rightly, Gomez was critical of his teams defending, who were to blame for giving the JTP player the time to fire past the helpless keeper.



Making his belated debut, Ollie Hurrey finally joined the action with ten minutes to go. Glimpses of Hurrey's ability was visible, however, as the game was already sewn up his impact was limited on this occasion.



9-1 to Incisive was deservedly the final score. Perhaps this dynasty will flourish for a thousand years after all.


This weeks post by Dave Brown

Corinthians 3 - 5 JTP Defeat.

                               


                             Remember remember the fifth of November
                                         Defeat; league trophy or not.
                                   I see no reason why Defeat this season
                                         Should ever be forgot...

After 14 straight victories and an unrelenting flow of eye catching football, reality finally caught up with a weary Corinthians side.

There were bad omens beneath the firework filled sky. Gomez had abandoned his lucky tracksuit bottoms, for the first time in a Corinthian shirt wearing clean ones, he was clearly worried by the decision and the under current of concern could be felt by all. This coupled with a concealing of the magical blue Nike shirts that strike terror into the hearts of opponents under a yellow bib set the scene for a story waiting to be told.

It was an unusually quiet performance from a subdued side comprising of, Lewis, Brown, Finnegan, Tjaardstra, Gomez and Glynn. From the off the movement was lack lustre and the on pitch presence absent. To get the technical observations out of the way….

As a team we did not defend properly, there is no point marking your man if you don’t think about where he is likely to run to, anticipation is more important that standing really close to him. If we have the ball, we need to ask for it, not hope that someone else will or that the man with it will pull off something magical.

There were many problems, but those two just about sum up the key problem areas.
That said, you don’t win 14 games in a row and suddenly become a bad team and even in disappointing conditions the opening goal went to the boys in blue shirts and yellow bibs. For 25 minutes it stayed that way, shots pelting the JTP goal though mostly directly at the goal keeper’s feet, something only England keepers under Steve Mclaren seem to struggle with, before a baffling collapse allowed a very competent JTP to score 5 very good goals that they fully deserved.

It has always been a Corinthian trait that in such conditions someone raises their game for the rest to follow and this time it was sparked by a lucky Lewis goal that zipped between the keepers legs, presumably he had been tutored under Mclaren at SOME point in his illustrious career. From here on in it was all battle, the type that had been missing and the score was dragged back to 5-3 by Brown and could have been a game saved on a different day.

Arguably more embarrassing than the score line was a free kick that went our way with about 45 seconds left on the clock; The ball was rolled toward the spot, then rolled past it, then kicked toward it, then rolled past it, within a few attempts it had started to look like the England cricket team trying to field in a one day match against Australia. A JTP player, from this juncture in known as ‘that cunt’, took it upon himself to repeatedly flick the ball away and step over it to let it under his legs as the outstretched arms of Finnegan chased it around him like Benny Hill after he’s put his back out lifting a box in the incorrect fashion. There was a sending of for ..’that cunt’ and enraged Corinthians everywhere. I don’t mind that much though because be he ‘that cunt’ or not, it was fucking funny to watch.
Any way, remember remember the 5th of November and we won’t make those mistakes again.

We have the trophy and our little plastic medals, now let’s keep it lest ‘that cunt’ take any pleasure out of yesterday and let’s win another 14 games in row. EASY!