Corinthians 6 -4 Haworth Tomkins 21/01/10

The ending of an Ice Age has begun. Begininng is the occasional cold snap that both punctuates the change in the earth’s climate as well as once wiped out the Neanderthal. It is said that for the next 20 years, we can expect such troublesome winters.

It is in the wake of events that signify such awe inspiring change that the Corinthians emerged for their first performance in a good month or so.

The team roll call rankled of the battle fields of the latter years of the Passchendale offensive of 1917. Seasonal financial calamity, ill health and work related matters limited numbers as the Christmas survivors gathered for their final offensive, new recruits fresh faced and unawares of the tribulation that lay ahead.

Lewis, Brown and Gomez lined up from the old guard and new faces Tom Wallace (or Tim as confused, bewildered, team pensioner Lewis insisted on calling him) and Deano Reynolds made up the numbers.

Unfortunately in a further example of the decaying mind of an elderly gentleman, Lewis had given everyone the wrong time, so a 40 minute wait ensued in the changing rooms, raising the tension levels and introducing everyone to Gomez’s previously unannounced allegiance to the Gunners….a Corinthian first…..the only previous Arsenal being the one provided by the left boot of one Andrew Towning….(awful joke, sorry).

The Corinthians were clearly perturbed by the admission and promptly (and correctly) permitted the opposition to pepper Gomez with shots, shots which were keenly deflected but hopefully hurt.

Then as the cobwebs blew away and the Corinthians found their stride, a 3-0 lead was opened up….however…with a comfortable lead to play with it seemed reasonable to allow the opposition to kick the ball as hard as they could at the Arsenal fan again. A struggle ensued and for once, the blues where given a run for their money.

The game finished 6-4. Goals for all and a comfortable win in the end, a return to modus operandi:

Reynolds and Wallace tasted their first 5 aside championship winning season on their debut, Lewis scored goals, but blasted sitters high and wide on an almost minute by minute basis and Brown managed to flirt with the red card throughout.

Asked whether or not he would be spending in the transfer window, Manager Lewis had this to say:

‘Why buy when you can groom’.

A sentiment that could also be applied to his attitude toward the fairer sex.