29/04/10 Corinthians 7 - 3 JTP

22/04.

Soon that date will ring with the same resonance as 09/11. The day the Corinthians fell. A mourning public dressed in black for a full week after the Corinthians were defeated 4-1 by Bloomberg in a game that President Obama described as, ‘A dark day for football, a dark day for humanity and a day that I give you my word as President, will not be repeated’.

The Corinthians await the funding and support of the entire American nation.

Just as soon as they cleaned up the 40 billion tones of oil that they’ve splattered all over the globe, probably wiping out every endangered species on the planet in one foul swoop.


It had to be rectified. The unfortunate recipients of the wrath of a wounded giant were to be JTP. But not just any old JTP side. Contained within their ranks was a snake in the grass, a guerilla in the mist, a Gorilla in the office…..one of the Bloomberg football terrorists, a ginger bubble bursting bastard with the playing style of Vinny Jones and the social graces of…..Vinny Jones.

The Corinthians lined up to warm up:

Lewis
Finnegan
Gomez
Cenamor
Murray
Brown
And er, Barry.

With one confidence annihilating swipe at the ball, Finnegan launched the football 163 miles in the air and sliced off down the hill. Retrieving the ball he then attempted to rectify the situation by dropping the football back into the warm up area with a simple dink over the netting. Unfortunately he has a bionic leg and a soapy foot so the ball instead this time reached 194 miles in height and landed lost, forever trapped in the balcony of the attached office building.

Confidence shattered, the blues took to the field.

It was a slow start, the Corinthians clearly suffering from an inertia that seems suspiciously linked to the beginning of the summer ‘party season’.

Football is game of priorities and looking around the field a heavy legged Lewis was slow into his tackles, Cenamor seems to have chosen a diet of 40 cigarettes and a KFC per day over new trainers, having bound the flapping sole of the shoe to his foot using some sort childrens plaster and Gomez seems to have become so pre-occupied with whether or not to by new goal keeping gloves that he was once caught dreaming of that halcyon purchase and beaten from an absurdly tight angle.

None the less the Corinthians were on top.

It wasn’t long before a 1-0 lead opened up.

A great Dave Brown finish getting the team back where they belong: In front, up top, swanning about like champions.

The cameoing ‘Barry’ showed why Scotland isn’t all a land of Colin Calderwood’s with an excellent performance that helped boost the under performing Corinthians with some intelligent movement and excellent passing vision.

There were cracks though. The Bloomberg cuckoo in the JTP nest was causing problems. Eventually the equalizer arrived after in the style of the talentless but relentless Geoff Horsfield he charged down the flank forcing 2 superb stops from Gomez (who incidentally made some sublime saves throughout the game) off rebounding balls before slotting home. Entirely Lewis’s fault who simply stood behind him watching. Presumably still dreaming of his Paris sojourn and re-acclimatising to just how ugly people in Britain are capable of being….


There was though little cause for concern. At times Corinthian passing movements touched every man on the field before finally forcing a stretched save from what should have been an easily beatable keeper.

There was a penalty given to the Corinthians that caused flutters of concern amongst those present on the catastrophic 22/04.
Both Brown & Cenamor had done their family names an un-reversable shame and missed penalties, so as soon as the decision was given Murray took control. ‘THIS IS MINE’. There was no way another Blue was getting his mitts on the ball without a fight.

And who fights with a Scotsman? Only a Scandinavian in a horned hat on LSD or English gentry wielding considerably more advance weaponry is who…..or Roy Keane and he was busy.

Murray executed perfectly.

Cenamor slotted home 2 excellent finishes despite playing in shoes that he appears to have found on the side of a railway bank

Brown found time for a second

Lewis blasted home his first in 3 games

And then there was Finnegan……….

The nick name developing Finnegan (Fingers Finnegan in the office…..his alter ego GEORGE ..ask me later about this one….)…

A torrid 8 minute spell saw Finnegan strike the ball at angles only ex disaster signing Alex Ferguson was previously thought to be capable of. Launching every ball that came near him over the nets and into the distance whilst under little or no pressure was clearly beginning to wear on George Fingers Finnegan, the shame clearly apparent on a beetroot red face……

…Was it all over for him? Politicians have resigned over less….Full of the steely will characteristic of Corinthians though, he would not give up regardless of the scale of gaff…much like Gordon Brown…..

Unlike Mr Brown though, it eventually paid dividends….

Chris, George, Gordon Brown, Fingers Finnegan, composed himself and approaching a dropping ball from just inside his own half, caught the perfect ground skimming volley and smashed the ball past the defeated JTP keeper for goal of the game.

All was forgiven and Lewis called off the sniper hit man with a wave to the ramparts.

7-3

Back to winning ways but as the new tops draw ever nearer, vintage class must greet them in the next exciting installment of….


…THE CORINTHIANS.