Corinthians 6 -6 AIR World Wide

Gordon Brown has called his election. Parliament will soon be dissolved. Every voter from the furthest left to the furthest right is screaming at the top of their voices…’I DON’T WANT TO VOTE FOR ANY OF THESE CLOWNS’.

Re-invigoration of the voter, the political landscape and the economy are all eagerly awaited…..

….not so eagerly as the re-invigoration of a Corinthians side on the wane……the characteristic swagger, the ease of gear change over any footballing terrain…….all present but encumbered by the assumption of victory, a lack of punctuality and an unfortunate case of CHAD GOMEZ AND THE WRONG TROUSERS (the dramatisation of which will be available on DVD in the summer).

Air world wide were out early, warming up in team formation, they were making a case for a ‘game of it’. As per 6pm KO tradition, the majority of the Corinthians were scattered across London like soldiers on a 1916 battle field desperately searching for their own limbs.

Racing out with the best that they could make the field with:

Chad Gomez: - sporting a different pair of track suit bottoms for only the second time in his Corinthian career
Dave Brown: - incensed by the ineptness of his compatriots
Alex Lewis: - with one operational leg after being brutally cut down in a previous game
Kieran Gardner: - playing as a paid professional after Olly Nevill covered his fees

Already 1 nil down due to lateness it quickly slipped to a 3 nil deficit. A mis-cued trickler skimmed past Gomez and a rocket from the right found the net.

As usual the football from the blues was intelligent and well structured, but the shot’s that peppered Air worldwide’s net hit posts, bar and goalkeeper, never the net.

On a slippy pitch the Corinthians couldn’t get going, taking 3 touches just to get the ball under control meant that the intelligent man on man marking strategy of AIR limited pace and encouraged a rushed pass.

Davison arrived to make the 5 with Murray & Dunkley emerging as 6th & 7th man as the case for the counter attack began. Slowly the competence crept back into the Blues always probing for that first goal….

Then suddenly, Murray slotted home the first, his finish (silver) foxing the keeper and finding the left hand corner. The game was afoot.

An expected thunderous onslaught never quite emerged though. The Corinthians WMD’s turned out to be little more than vast oil revenues to be strategically plundered….

As the AIR FIFTH bounced off the foot of an unfortunate Lewis and left Gomes travelling in the wrong direction and trickled into the net….a 5-1 gap had opened up and to a neutral, the game must have seemed over.

Luckily the Corinthians are adorned with the arrogance, madness (and libido’s) of Lord Bath and the kind of wildly unjustified sense of self belief that follows Kieran Richardson around but used to follow Robbie Savage around until he caught a glimpse of himself in a Derby county football kit in the mirror…then probably had to be counseled down from a roof top.

All was not lost. The fact is that we had been playing well and all we needed to do was stop letting them score! A simple philosophy.

Despite some scintillating exchanges opening the opposition up between Lewis, Davison and Gardner the game simply wouldn’t swing. Even the Lewis trade mark free kick off the heel into space left Brown & earlier Murray wrong footed and considering smashing Lewis’s face through the wall for trying to be clever whilst 5-1 down.

Gradually though opportunity evolved….

A penalty, dispatched by Brown in front of Sunderland scout Davison can only have served to further his life long dream to be picked in a first team ahead of Darren Bent….

Davison slotted home from close range to finish off a fine move..

A Murray strike bouncing off the inside of the wall and back into the AIR net

Suddenly it was 5-4

Surely, surely now…….but like all good stories, on the cusp of a sweeping victory one final setback emerged……

A SIXTH AIR goal.

The curse of Gomez’s tracksuit bottoms hung heavy over the Blue’s. The last time that Gomez had adorned alternative goal keeping attire a defeat to JTP had been the result and here we were with 4 minutes left, 6-4 down.

Rumour has it that Gomez doesn’t have different pairs of tracksuit bottoms, he actually has 2 pairs of legs. It’s just that the ones in the grey tracksuit bottoms are in fact bionic.

There was still time for drama…..

…Brown stepping up for a second penalty. There was no way he could score twice, not by hitting the ball the same way? Surely, our luck just wouldn’t hold?

GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLL

6-5.

Substituting himself for Dunkley, Lewis watched from the side lines resigned to defeat, helplessly watching from the side as Davison, Dunkley, Gardner, Gomez and Brown faced a back 4 of solid green determined to protect their lead for one last minute….it had something of the Dunkirk about it and the Corinthians needed a more of a ‘bridge too far’…….glorious defensive effort underpinned with eventual retreat and failure…..

Dunkley collected the ball on the left, turned his man, raced down the line into the no mans land of the corner of a 5 aside pitch. He cut in toward the goal wrestling off the rough housing defender, he drew back the trigger….


…..’DON’T F***ING SHOOT FROM THERE’ Lewis screamed in his head…….Dunkley prepared to squander the final attack of the game…all was lost, the fans baying for Lewis’s managerial blood, why oh why had he brought Dunkley back on at this critical juncture………..

The shot rifled from Dunkley’s foot squeezing between keeper and near post, busting the net, instant heroism, instant legendary status, instant comeback!


The official greatest comeback top 3 in the guiness book of records now reads:

3- Britain (WW2)
2- Liverpool vs AC MILAN
1- The Corinthians vs AIR


That….is…..a…..FACT.